why not to go on road trips with Zelda characters
by Fantasystardreamer7
Summary: ...yeah, I was bored. So I drew a comic strip of everyone on a bus for no reason. It's kind of funny, actually.
1. Chapter 1

**This is what happens when you coop up an artist in a car while driving across the country. She draws completely stupid comic strips of herself, her siblings, all the Legend of Zelda characters riding in the same bus going on a road trip for no reason. **

**Me**: OH MY GOSH! WHY did we let SHADOW LINK drive?!  
**Shadow Link**: *driving at least 50 miles over the speed limit* WOOHOO!  
**Zelda and Link**: * glare at me* Well, we WARNED you, didn't we?  
**Me**: Well... uh... maybe.  
**Midna (imp form)**: Kevin! can you PLEASE get Red and Violet Link to STOP SINGING?  
**Red Link, Violet Link, and Navi:** THA WHEELZ ON THA BUS GO 'ROUND AND 'ROUND! 'ROUND and 'ROUND! 'ROUND AND 'ROUND!  
**Blue Link:** KEVIN! VAATI WON'T STOP POKING ME!  
**Vaati**: *freezes in mid-poke*  
**Me**: *clamps hands over ears* NEW SEATING ARRANGEMENTS! Malon can sit next to Ghirahim, Fi next to Lynnie, Mike next to Blue Link, and Vaati next to me! Red Link, Violet Link, you two'd better shut up before I move you two, too! Midna, you're driving!  
**Midna**: Yess!  
**Shadow Link**: Awww...  
*A few minutes later. Music playing waaaaay tooo loouud*  
**Me**: *hands over ears* Midna! You're a good driver, but can you PLEASE turn down the music?!  
**Midna:** *obviously didn't hear me* WHAT?!  
**Me:** *chucks headphones*  
BONK.  
**Midna:** Oh, hey, headphones!  
SCREECH!  
**Everyone except Midna**: The ROAD, Midna! Watch the ROAD!  
**Midna:** Sorr-ee, I thought you wanted me to USE these headphones!  
**Cars behind their bus:** MANIAC!  
**Ghirahim**: How much longeeeeeer?  
**Malon:** Oh, for DIN'S SAKE! Have you EVER heard of patience?!  
**Lynnie**: KEVIN! I'm BORED!  
**Fi:** *poker face*  
**Me**: *lightbulb* I KNOW! Let's have an evil-face making contest! Readysetgo!  
- **INSERT** LoZ: ALTTP Death Mountain Theme **OR** LoZ: ALTTP Dark world Theme **HERE! **-


	2. Chapter 2

**Party Time**

**Vaati**: (in Hylian)Yay! Party!

**Me:** (also in Hylian) It's not party time! Now sit still so I can draw you!

**Vaati:** *personal thundercloud opens over head*

**Me:** *draws like mad*

*later*

**Me:** See? Isn't that better?

**Vaati:** Just be glad I can't speak English.

**Me: **(English) *loses temper* SAY THAT AGAIN AND I'LL ERASE YOUR FACE!

**Vaati: **(still in Hylian) *cowers away and gets very scared* What?

**Language problems 1**

**Link: **(English)Hey, doodlemeister!

**Me: **(also in English)Yes?

**Link: ***exhasperated*What are you drawing this time?

**Me: **Midna~

**Link: ***stares at ugly half-drawn picture* *poker face*

**Me: ***T.T* Hey, I just _started, _ya know.

**Link:** . . . right. So where's Vaati?

**Me: **Over there. *points with thumb*

POOF

**Vaati: ***appears out of nowhere* (in Hylian) Hey, Link!

**Link: ***poker face* (English) Soooo. . . Vaati's speaking Hylian, I'm speaking English, and neither of us are bilingual?

**Me:** *turns into stick figure* oops

**Vaati:***has no idea what we're talking about*

**Me: ***flips pages in notebook and erases madly*

**Link:** *Mouth disappears* !

**Me:** *draws like mad*

**Link:** *mouth reappears* (in Hylian) What just happened?


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: I drew more than just the road trip comic strip. In this page: more language problems, and... GHIRAHIM GOES SHOPPING. DUN DUN DUUUUN. Total chaos ensues when Ghirahim goes shopping.**

**Language problems 2**

**Mysterious Voice: **(Hylian) You got: a book!

DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!

**Link: ***holds book up and stares at it like it's the best thing ever*

**Book cover: **Kitties! X3

**Link: ***opens book* (Hylian) Uhh... What language is this?

**Me: **(in Hylian again) English! *suddenly realizes problem* *poker face* oh. *turns to Link* Ask Fi?

**Link: **Well, where is Fi?

**Me: ***draws like an insane person*

POOF

**Fi: ***appears out of nowhere* (Hylian) Hi, Master. (English) Hello, Kevin.

**Me: **(English) FINALLY. A BILINGUAL PERSON. HALLELUJAH.

**Fi and Link: ***stare at me like I'm crazy*

**Shopping**

**Me:** HEY LYNNIE! GHIRAHIM'S GOING SHOPPING!

**Lynnie: ***jumps into the air*WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Ghirahim: ***furious*WHY did you tell HER?

**Me: **'Cause even Shadow Link is annoyed.

**Shadow Link: ***on the verge of insanity*

**Ghirahim: **. . . right. Well, bye.

**Lynnie: **TAKE ME WITH YOU!

POOF

*diamonds*

**Everyone: **. . . *awkward silence*

YAY SHE'S GONE!

**Shadow Link:** BOO-YAH!

**Me:** Sooo... is it Party Time now?

**Vaati:** *throws fists into air* FINALLY!

**Malon:** *gets out giant barrel of Moomoo Milk*

**Everyone:** *gets drunk off milk*

*total chaos happens*

**Author's note: I TOLD YOU SO. Also, don't think that I'm out of pages just yet. There's still a few more to go.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Me**: Sorry, but because everyone is still in a hangover from the last events of chapter 3, there's no-one to do this chapter. Except me, Fi, Oni, Dark Link, Malon, Lynnie, Mike, and Red Link. Hmmm... Maybe if we pulled some people from elsewhere...?

*gets out notebook and starts drawing* Okay, who should we have come over?

**Malon**: Aelita!

**Red Link:** Yoshi!

**Lynnie**: Kirby and Meta Knight!

**Fi**: Blu!

**Oni**: NOOO! INVITE PIKACHU!

**Everyone except Oni**: *stares at him*

**Me**: I didn't know you liked Pikachu!

**Dark**: Dude, you should see his room!

**Oni**: WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM? *Tackles Dark*

**Dark**: AAAAH! *fights back*

**Everyone besides Dark, Oni, and Me**: *gets in a huge arguement about who they should invite*

**Me**: I stand corrected. We just did half of this chapter. Maybe by the next comic strip those idiots who got themselves drunk will have woken up.

**Rats**

**Me**: *looks at watch* five... four... three... two... one... *looks around* Well, I guess the world isn't going to end today!

**Vaati**: Rats. *walks away*

**Moon**: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *falls on Vaati*

**Vaati**: *buried under moon* Ow.

**Me**: Nevermind.

**Majora's Mask**: BULL'S-EYE!

**Author's note:** **Is it even possible to include characters from other games without this being a crossover? I don't know. I'm thinking of renaming this 'The Legend Zelda's Big Fat Awesome House Party' because . . .Well, it's a big fat awesome house party. Virtual cookies for anyone who knows what the Big Fat Awesome House Party was and/or reviews this. (::) (::) (::)**


	5. Chapter 5

**So. I ran out of comic strips. And then I decided to type out what all of the characters are like in my point of view. Meh. Looking at this, there could be a whole lot of interesting relationship problems. But I don't have any more ideas, and that's why I'm asking you guys: WHAT CRAZY THINGS SHOULD THEY DO NEXT? **

**BTW, Burning Book, I don't need you to tell me that it should be an AU where they're all on a sports team again. I heard you the first time, and I'm still thinking about it.**

**Me (Kevin)- **amateur artist/ author  
likes: Nintendo, drawing, writing, listening to Nintendo soundtracks, hanging out with the Zelda crew (Vaati, Link, and Shadow Link especially)  
dislikes: bad guys, failed drawings, sports  
note: has run out of comic strips

**Lynnie (Kevin's sibling)-** annoying little kid  
likes: trolling Kevin, Ghirahim, and the song Do You Like Waffles  
dislikes: doing chores, dying in video games, homework  
note: ignore her and maybe she'll go away

**Mike (Kevin's other sibling)- **master with puns  
likes: Netflix, Facebook  
dislikes: being annoyed  
note: doesn't know why they were included here

**Link- **the Hero  
likes: his friends, defeating rival Dark Link, winning at video games  
dislikes: dying, Shadow being a troll, monsters  
note: can't choose between Midna and Zelda

**Midna- **Twilight Princess  
likes: Link, loud music, driving Malon crazy  
dislikes: ZeLink, Zant, being outdone  
note: has slapped Shadow multiple times

**Zelda- **Princess of Hyrule  
likes: Link, her loftwing, helping defeat Ganondorf  
dislikes: MidLink, being kidnapped, all bad guys  
note: is proficient at playing a harp

**Vaati- **mage of winds  
likes: Party Time, windy days  
dislikes: Red, Blue, and Violet Link, the moon  
note: has a crush on Zelda, but has never admitted it to anyone

**Shadow Link- **Hero's shadow  
likes: Midna, blowing stuff up, trolling the other Links  
dislikes: the light (IT BUUUUUUURNS)  
note: hides animal plushies under bed

**Dark Link- **Hero's rival  
likes: blood and destruction  
dislikes: Shadow Link (with a passion)  
note: hates everyone, good and bad

**Malon- **Lon Lon Ranch girl  
likes: horses, comic books, Code: Lyoko  
dislikes: Ghirahim, ingrates, animal cruelty  
note: Can NOT get along with Midna

**Oni- **Fierce Deity  
likes: fighting, Farore, Fi, cute Pokemon (especially Pikachu)  
dislikes: Dark Link, Shadow Link, Navi being annoying  
note: has posters of fluffy Pokemon hung up in his room

**Fi- **spirit of the Blade of Evil's Bane (Master Sword)  
likes: Ghirahim, being a smart aleck, Captain Obvious  
dislikes: being ignored, Navi, being insulted  
note: only pretends not to have feelings

**Ghirahim- **spirit of the Blade of Evil (Demise's sword)  
likes: Fi, creeping out Link, RAINBOWS  
dislikes: being defeated, Oni, shopping with Lynnie  
note: not gay, FABULOUS

**Navi- **fairy  
likes: annoying bad guys, Fi, Tael, being listened to  
dislikes: Tatl, bad guys, being discluded  
note: throws muffins at people when angered

**Ganon/ Ganondorf- **King of Thieves/ King of Darkness  
likes: ruling the world, making fun of Link, Midna  
dislikes: being beaten, minions being beaten, Link  
note: easily angered

**Dark Zelda- **Kevin's rival  
likes: trolling Kevin on SSBB, Dark Link, plotting  
dislikes: losing, people being nice to her  
note: AAAAAAUGH DARK ZELDA WHY MUST YOU BEAT ME IN SSBB?

**Farore- **Goddess of Courage  
likes: Competitions, winning, Oni, the Kokiri  
dislikes: Bad guys, being outdone, Skull Kid  
note: argues with siblings a lot

**Nayru- **Goddess of Wisdom  
likes: being the smartest, writing, the Zoras  
dislikes: fighting, haters  
note: argues with siblings a lot

**Din- **Goddess of Power  
likes: Fighting, winning, the Gorons  
dislikes: losing, being pranked  
note: argues with siblings a lot

**Red Link- **One of Link's alternate personae  
**Blue Link-**One of Link's alternate personae  
**Violet Link- **One of Link's alternate personae  
**Tatl- **fairy  
**Tael- **fairy  
**Moon- **Termina's moon  
**Majora's Mask- **evil mask  
**Ruto- **Zora Queen  
**Ralis- **Zora Prince  
**Darunia- **Goron leader  
**Malo- **Talo's little brother  
**Talo- **Ordon boy  
**Colin- **Ordon boy  
**Beth- **Ordon girl  
**Aryll-** Link's little sister  
**Saria- **Kokiri girl and forest sage  
**Mido- **Kokiri boy  
**Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule- **King of Hyrule  
**King of Red Lions- **talking boat  
**Sahasrahla- **Elder  
**Luda- **Kakariko girl  
**Luda's dad- **Kakariko shaman  
**Barnes- **Bomb shop owner  
**Zant- **false King of the Twili  
**Mailman- **awkwaaaaaard  
**Chancellor Cole- **mega troll  
**Anjean- **train lady  
**Gage- **forest train guy  
**Steem**- Snow train guy  
**Carben- **Ocean train guy  
**Embrose- **Fire train guy  
**Rael- **Sand train guy  
**Byrne- **Epic magic-robo-dude  
**Alfonzo- **Swordsman/ Engineer  
**Malladus- **EVIL ZELDA STEALER  
**Random Train-** random train  
**Link's Grandfather- **Link's father's father  
**Link's grandmother- **Link and Aryll's father's mother


	6. Chapter 6

**Yo. I know I said that I was out of comic strips, but something happened today that was EXTREMELY comic strip worthy. What random thing happened today, you ask? Lifesavers. Lifesavers happened.**

** burning book- yeah, I gave your idea more thought and decided that they could do some funny stuff if this were an actual story. Like if for some reason they were all suddenly in the marching band. Heh. Heh. *starts plotting* **

**Lifesaver issues**

**Malon: **KEVIN!

**Me: **What?

**Malon:** *takes a deep breath* Ireallywanttoeatthislifesave rnowbutIalsowanttosavepartfo rlaterandthisistheonlylifesa verIhavesoIwasgonnasplititin halfsoIcouldsavesomeofitbut *gasps for air* IT WON'T BREAK!

**Me: **Have you tried banging it on the table yet?

**Malon: ***bangs lifesaver on table as hard as possible*

**Lifesaver: ***stays in one piece*

**Me: **Huh. Step on it?

**Malon: ***throws lifesaver on the ground and steps on it*

**Lifesaver: ***still whole*

**Malon: ***stomps on it repeatedly*

**Lifesaver: ***nothing happened*

**Malon: **It's still not breaking.

**Me: **. . . *picks up lifesaver and sets it on table*

*grabs random pencil bag*

*starts hitting lifesaver with pencil bag*

BAM BAM BAM

**Lifesaver: ***Nothing! Nothing! La la la la la la!*

**Midna: ***storms into room with steam coming out of her ears* WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TWO DOING THAT MAKES SO MUCH NOISE?!

**Me: **Uhh. . . Trying to break a lifesaver in half?

**Midna: ***grabs random stapler and smacks lifesaver*

**Lifesaver: ***breaks cleanly in two*

**Midna: ***stalks out of room*

**Malon: **Well, _that_ helped.

**True story, bro. Except it happened in school, and I figured out that staplers work best for breaking lifesavers by myself. **

**I AM STILL MOSTLY IDEA-LESS, SO IF YOU CAN THINK OF ANYTHING FUNNY WRITE IT UP IN A REVIEW. **

**Please? **

**If you do, you get a hug from TEXT KIRBY **

**c('.'c) **

**Copy 'N' Paste him for WORLD DOMINATION!**


	7. Chapter 7: crazy day

**WAZZZUUUUUUUUUP? (yes that was an Annoying Orange reference) So. I've had two epiphanies in the last 24 hours. One, when I watched the first Lord Of The Rings movie. I **_**finally **_**understand another one of those funny posters in the band room. 'One does not simply **_**circle the dynamic only once'.**_** Heh. If you're surprised that I hadn't seen that movie, then let's just say that I am REALLY stubborn. Seriously.**

**Epiphany number 2: Crazy day- everyone goes and pulls epic pranks involving Whoopee cushions and water balloons for one whole day.**

**WHOA, LOOK! I wanted to see how a well-written chapter would be like, and I think it turned out pretty well. **

**Crazy Day part 1**

"WAZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" The cry echoed through the halls.

I rolled over in bed and threw a pillow across the room at Malon. "Hey! Malon! PLEASE don't tell me that it's Crazy Day!"

"Okay then, I won't tell you." Her voice was muffled.

"Oh, for goodness's sake." I got up and stuck my head into the hallway, at which moment it was doused with ice water. Shadow Link took off down the hall howling with laughter. I walked over to where Malon, in her Code: Lyoko pajamas, was still buried under the covers. "WAKE UP!"

"Goway," she murmured.

"You asked for it," I said, then I wrung my hair out over her head.

"AAAAAAACK!" She sat bolt upright. "DUDE!"

"Get _up_ before someone comes and puts your hand in warm water!"

"Ewww..." Malon made a face.

I grabbed a water gun I had prepared the night before and more cautiously this time stepped into the hall. It seemed to be empty, but I wasn't about to take any chances. It was an unnecessary precaution, fortunately, and in the bathroom I started filling water balloons and piling them into a basket.

Malon arrived just as I finished. "Remind me again whose team Saria's on?" she said, yawning again.

"Saria sided with all the little kids. Talo, Malo, Beth, and the rest of them. Seriously, we discussed this yesterday!"

"Sorry. I keep forgetting." I sighed. "Where's Midna?" she asked. "I thought she and Zelda were with us, too."

**-****If you want, insert****Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance **_**With Us! **_**theme HERE!-**

"Umm... Why are we including music from an entirely differently game in a _Zelda _story?" asked Malon.

"Well, I _like _it," I said, folding my arms. "and besides, it's still Nintendo."

"Whatever, but if you ask me, Ike is the cheapest character _ever_."

"No, he's _not. _And unless you want me to soak the rest of you, you'd better drop it."

"Okey-dokey, artichokey!" She saluted me. I rolled my eyes.

Then there was a knock on the door and Midna came in. "Am I late?"

"Nah, we were early," I told her. "Have you seen Zelda?"

"Nope. ...Hey Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you soaking wet?"

"Shadow Link," I said.

"...Of course." Midna rolled her eyes.

"I have an extra large water balloon with his name on it, and if Zelda doesn't hurry, I'm going without her."

"With whose name on it?" Zelda peeked in. "And _why _are you drenched _already,_ Kevin?"

"Shadow Link," said Midna.

"...Of course." Zelda rolled her eyes.

"Let us commence with the drenching of the shadows!" I said cheerfully. "Did anyone forget our attack plan?"

Malon raised her hand. I facepalmed.

_**Guest- **_**YAY! Double cookies for you! (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**

**_Burning book_****- Okay, I tried writing this as I would a regular story. U LIEK?**


	8. Chapter 8: News Flash!

**We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news: the Legend of Groose video game collection has just been released!**

The Legend of Groose  
Legend of Groose: The Adventure of Groose  
Legend of Groose: Tuba of Hair  
Legend of Groose: Ginger's Mask  
Legend of Groose: Woah you're imploding my mind Waker  
Legend of Groose: Phantom Hairdo  
Legend of Groose: Spirit Locks  
Legend of Groose: Twilight Pompadour  
Legend of Groose: Oracle of Derps/Oracle of Dunces  
Legend of Groose: The Fancy Hat  
Legend of Groose: Four Groosenators  
Legend of Groose: Four Groosenators Adventures  
Legend of Groose: Grooseward Gourd

**GO BUY THEM NOW!**

**Another incredible news topic:**  
**Kevin has just been OWNED by the Elite Four in Pokemon Heartgold!**  
**A reporter arrived on the scene in the middle of the action.**

**Kevin:** SINCE WHEN DID KOGA HAVE A SKUNTANK?  
Mew used Psychic!  
It didn't affect foe Skuntank...  
**Kevin: **But Skuntank are POISON types! That should have been SUPER EFFECTIVE!  
**The Pokemon Ultimate Handbook: **Skuntank: the skunk Pokemon. Type: Poison-Dark.  
**Kevin: **CRAP.  
Foe Skuntank used Night Slash!  
It's super effective!  
Mew fainted!  
**Kevin**: *sends out Dragonite*  
Foe Skuntank used Toxic!  
Dragonite was badly poisoned!  
Dragonite used Draco Meteor!  
Dragonite's attack missed!  
**Kevin: ***bangs head on table*

**We will now return you to your previously scheduled program.**


	9. Chapter 9: Lances, Link, and Legolas

**Me:** You know, we should do another roleplay. I feel like war. Sonic this time?  
**Lynnie:** Sure. Can there be new characters?  
**Me:** No. We can make do with Hunter and Jay.  
**Lynnie:** Please?  
**Me:** No. … You know what? I'd rather not do another Sonic war. We've already done, like, three of those.  
**Lynnie:** Peach and Daisy?  
**Me:** Nah. How about the Legend of Zelda?  
**Lynnie:** Can they be in high school?  
**Me:** NO.  
**Lynnie:** But you've written a story where all of the Zelda characters go to high school, and-  
**Me:** NO.  
**Lynnie**: Aww, c'mon... *grabs Pokemon Essential Handbook and opens it*  
**Me:** I was thinking, huuuuuge army of Bokoblins and Moblins vs. Gorons, Zoras, chicken Hylian soldiers, Link, Zelda, and some random archers. Archers are epic.  
**Lynnie:** *paid no attention* Guess what Pokemon I'm reading about: So-n-so. The human shape Pokemon. So-n-so scatters cotton spores while traveling by wind current around the world. Possible moves: pound, lick, lovely kiss, powder snow, doublesla-  
**Me:** Two Pokemon, not one, you trickster. Jynx and Jumpluff.  
**Lynnie:** *stares at me in surprise*  
**Me:** OWNED.  
**Lynnie**: Ugh. Okay, guess which Pokemon I'm thinking of. It's really girly.  
**Me**: Uuuuuuummm... Skitty? Delcatty? Gardevoir? Jigglypuff?  
**Lynnie**: Nope. But you were close.  
**Me**: IS IT GHASTLY?  
**Lynnie**: What? NO!  
**Me:** Kirlia. I know you like them.  
**Lynnie**: DING DING DING!  
**Me:** Can we go back to planning a roleplay? I was thinking that the moblins could have insanely long lances. Like, over three times as tall as they are.  
**Lynnie:** Why?  
**Me:** *pulls out paper* See, these are the bad guys. *draws a few stick figures with insanely long lances* And the front row lowers their lances, so when the other side comes charging, *draws stick figure running at bad figures* they gore themselves on the insanely long lances! *Draws stick figure shish kebabed on long lance*  
**Lynnie:** Eww...  
**Me:** That one's Link. *draws hat on shish kebabed stick figure and fairy on lance next to him* And Navi. And behind the other bad guys is Ghirahim, and he's happy, because Link was stupid enough to do that. *draws stick Ghirahim*  
**Lynnie:** *reading Pokemon essential Handbook again* Gengar is so cute.  
**Me**: What! He's a ghost type! Ghost types are NOT cute.  
**Lynnie**: Yes they are.  
**Me:** What about Chandlure? Is _he_ cute?  
**Lynnie:** Yup.  
**Me:** And Cofagrigus?  
**Lynnie**: He's a ripoff.  
**Me**: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. How so?  
**Lynnie**: He's just a mummy case with arms. Seriously.  
**Me**: THATS THE POINT! *shoots Lynnie with Imaginary Bow and Arrow*  
**Lynnie**: Exactly!  
**Me**: Well, you missed a great movie last night. You should have seen it! The guy was all like 'fire!' and then immediately the first FIVE ROWS of bad guys DIED! And there were bombs and a guy with a torch and the guy was all like 'Legolas! KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM!' And then the elf guy shot the torch guy in the neck TWICE but then there was a huge BOOOOOOOM! and the wall into Helm's Deep EXPLODED! And before then, when the bad guys were putting up ladders, the dwarf was all like 'I've killed this many!' and Legolas was all like 'I've killed seventeen!' and then he shot two more and then shouted 'nineteen!' and it was funny. OHOHOH and you MISSED the part where Legolas was all like 'They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!' The hobbits the hobbits the hobbits the hobbits to Isengard! to Isengard! the hobbits the hobbits the hobbits the hobbits it Isengard gard gard! DUUUN DUN DUN DUUUN DUN DUN DUUUN. DUN DUN DUUUN DUN DUN DUUUN DUN DUN DUUUUN DUN DADUN DADUUN DUN DUN DUUUN DUN DUN DUUUN. DUN DUN DUUUN DUN DUN DUUUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN.  
**Lynnie**: And you only know one of the people's names becaaaaaaause?  
**Me**: Shut up.  
**Lynnie**: So can they be in high school?  
**Me**: No.  
**Lynnie**: PLEEEEEEESE? They can like, evacuate immediately because of a bomb!  
**Me**: OKAY THEN. They were in school, but a bomb flew through the window and they left immediately. HAPPY?  
**Lynnie**: ...whatever.  
**Me**: And then Midna used the Fused Shadow and killed everyone but Ganondorf and one Bokoblin *scribbles on epic picture*  
**Lynnie**: And Zelda chucked a huuuuge bowl of Cheerios at the last Bokoblin and killed him.  
**Me**: And Link went and stabbed Ganondorf! THE END! Oh by the way, Ghirahim hit you. *tears ghirahim stick figure off of paper, crumples it up and throws it at Lynnie*

* * *

**^Kevin's two-minute summary of the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Isn't it epic? This=true story. Not kidding.**


	10. Chapter 10: From the Cast of LOZ

**Sorry it's been so long! I've turned my attention to LOTR for a while, and I didn't have much inspiration. That, and I've been learning Sindarin (elvish). Heh. Heh. So, some letters from the cast of LOZ. I hope I didn't offend anybody for whatever reason...**

* * *

Dear readers,  
NO MORE YAOI!  
Sincerely, Shadow Link, Vaati, and Vio

Dear readers,  
You don't just _randomly come into Hyrule for no reason whatsoever. _  
Honestly, I don't understand you guy's logic.  
Sincerely, Midna

Dear readers,  
Midna only appeared in _one_ game, so I think _I_ deserve to be Link's boyfriend. NOT MIDNA!  
Sincerely, Zelda

Dear readers,  
Please note that _I _wasn't the one being kidnapped in every game.  
Sincerely, Midna

Dear readers,  
There is a huge difference between Shadow and I. I'm the one with _white hair_ and _red eyes._  
Sincerely, Dark Link

Dear readers,  
You should write more stories where Link dies and I get the whole Triforce.  
Sincerely, Ganondorf

Dear readers,  
Please ignore Ganondorf.  
Sincerely, Link

Dear readers,  
IGNORE LINK!  
Sincerely, Ganondorf

Dear readers,  
I'm not gay, I'm FAAAABULOUS!  
Get it right!  
Sincerely, Ghirahim

* * *

Poetry, by the cast of LOZ  
Roses are red,  
and violets are blue.  
Is this really necessary?  
- Midna

Roses are red,  
and violets are violet.  
Daisies are yellow,  
and I HATE YOU!  
-Ganondorf

Roses are thorny,  
and violets are pointless.  
I like chocolate donuts,  
and poetry is overrated.  
-Shadow Link

**Lack of inspiration: totally obvious. OH WELL. Still, what crazy stuff should those guys do next?**


End file.
